


You're my True Saving Grace!

by NanamiYaoi4Evr



Category: Clannad
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanamiYaoi4Evr/pseuds/NanamiYaoi4Evr
Summary: Multi chapter story. The idea in general had come from a role play I've recently read. I wanted to give it a first try using this anime. Tomoya Okazaki is the one in true harm. Anger issues and self hate for his teenage years and caretaker. Someone decides to help him with his personal emotionally wrecked personality and family life. His personality totally differ here from the anime/movie & game we all love and adore. The one to help him stays with the same personality. Please give story a chance and read. You've been warned of triggers as read above. For numbers of chapters, It's unknown for now.
Relationships: Furukawa Nagisa/Okazaki Tomoya
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. The scariness of hurting me

_You're my true saving grace!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Clannad anime/movie or game. Or it's characters! Just the idea I've currently found interested when reading a role play on a role playing website._

_The scariness of hurting me._

He was just sitting in class as the teacher talked a bunch of crap. As usual, Tomoya wishes he had skipped or ditched school for the day. Looking over the clock on top of the blackboard as it read just another 2 hours until school let out. At 18 years old he was and in his final year of high school. Not sure if he would be graduating with the rest of the senior class. As told by his guidance counselor just a few weeks ago.

_"You need to catch up with the rest. Or you'll end up in summer school."_

"That damn bastard!" He shouts aloud.   
  
He lowers his head just looking down at his sleeve. The rest of the class looks his way due to his sudden outburst. Few whispers were heard of the bad tempered male. As always he was the talk of the whole school. With his long fingernails he dug onto his sleeves feeling a bit of pinch on himself.

"...that fucking hurts.." he says in a low whisper. 

The teacher goes back to the lesson written up on the board. As the rest of the class does the same. Tomoya rests his head onto his desk. Still pinching himself falling asleep once again. 

The last bell rings as everyone bolts out of the class. The teacher walks up to his desk shaking him awake.

"Okazaki-san, wake up..you're doing this again.."

The young man stirs awake looking around. He was the only person in the room. The rest of the students had just ran out of the class. The teacher hits him on top of the head with a notebook.

"Damn it, Okazaki-san, you're in so much trouble!"

"Screw you!" 

He grabs his bag leaving the teacher in silence. Running out of the class as he wasn't aware someone was watching them from the doorway.

Amber looking eyes watches Tomoya running out of the class. With curiosity she follows him. Not aware he wanted to be alone. In the last year of high school the young girl by the name of Nagisa Furukawa, shared a few classes with him. As she always wanted to speak to him. Maybe this could be her chance. She trails after him backing away seeing he had entered the boy's bathroom.

"Okazaki-san..what's the matter?" she wanted to ask him, truthfully.

In the bathroom Tomoya punches the wall a few times. Luckily no one wasn't there. If someone was there he probably would had tussled with him. Either being a older or younger student. Or worse a teacher. Feeling pain on his knuckles he falls to the floor resting his head on his lap. 

Frustration building up inside of him while grabbing a sharp tool. The tool being a nail as he dug it onto his left arms real hard. Hissing while doing so as few tears had come down. 

"..What the fuck..?"

After a while he was done. He threw the blooded nail into the nearest trash. Getting off the floor he lets out a few breaths while unwrapping a long cloth covering up his previous scars of the last few years. Turning on the water as it ran from cold to cool water putting his whole arm onto the running water. Closing his eyes tightly he lets out a few more breaths.

While outside of the bathroom in the hallways, Nagisa still waited for him. Maybe she should had gone home. Shaking her head she was deeply concern for her classmate and hopefully friend someday.

"..Is he okay?" She asks herself when he heard cries coming from the boy's bathroom. "..what's he doing in there?"

The knob opens as Tomoya comes out of the bathroom. Feeling a little better he guesses so. He wasn't aware someone was there staring at him. Soon as their eyes met she backed away. A frown upon his handsome features as the girl he had seen many times in class had a scared, concern, and frightful expression on her lovely face.

"What do you want?"

"Are you okay, Okazaki-san?"

"..."

He doesn't say anything as he pushes past her. She sighs a bit following him. He looks back noticing a pair of legs following him. Just turning the corner forgetting his school bag she runs after him. Luckily she had in her hand once he set it upon the floor before entering the bathroom sometime ago.

"..Okazaki-san...wait up!"

Outside of the school grounds the crowd lessen. Tomoya didn't care about that. He would be heading to his friends' house. Not even second thinking of going back home to his abusive father.

Nagisa runs after him, grabbing his arms. She bows apologizing while giving back his school bag. "You left this. Please don't forget it."

He takes his bag looking down at her hands when grabbing his arms. In honesty, he wanted her to let him go. so he could keep on going. She gives him a small smile looking closely at him.

"Do you like it here? I do. I like the school and meeting new people. How about you?" 

That sudden question was weird for him. The quiet girl was a weird one for sure. He wasn't sure how to answer her though. She lets go of his arms keeping a straight smile when staring closely at him.

"Are you hungry?, She asked. "I don't live far from here. Join me, Okazaki-san."

To be continued.

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	2. Why does it have to be me?

_You're my true saving grace!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Clannad anime/movie or game. Or it's characters! Just the idea, so please enjoy the multi chapter story._

_Why does it have to be me?_

"Do you like it here? I do. I like the school and meeting new people. How about you?" 

That sudden question was weird for him. The quiet girl was a weird one for sure. He wasn't sure how to answer her though. She lets go of his arms keeping a straight smile when staring closely at him.

"Are you hungry?, She asked. "I don't live far from here. Join me, Okazaki-san."

Tomoya wasn't sure how to answer her. Letting out a long sigh, he decides not to intrude in anyway. "No thanks, Furukawa-san." There he leaves the stunned shy girl on her own.

The young senior would go directly home. As much as it pained him not wanting to go. He had no other place he could think of going at this sudden time. The sky would turn dark soon as the wintry season was getting colder each passing day.

Arriving home, Tomoya finds his father with a beer and cigarette in hand. The older Okazaki man looked up soon as his son comes home. Giving him a wry grin he stood up. Walking a bit tipsy suddenly pulling on his son's right arm.

"Where the hell have you been, Tomoya?"

He would asked. The young man didn't want to deal with it. Looking away as his father's breath was horrendous deciding on answering his question either way. "I was at school." 

Laughing not believing it. He continues on pulling his right arm. A bit hurt he felt by the sudden shock of being dragged upon the small living room floor. Throwing the beer in hand right onto Tomoya's arms without a care too.

"Don't you fucking lie to me!"

He shouts at his son. Gulping Tomoya had to find a way out of the man's abusive words, and soon to be beating. Dodging another kick aimed for his arms, or face, he crawls out of the living room into his room.

He was frightful for his life. His eyes widened by the sudden pounding on the door. "Open up here!" His drunken father kicked the door many times. He hid in his closet, covering his ears.

A bit of blood splattered onto his school pants. Looking as he took notice. Sighing closing his eyes, he knew he needed to clean up the blood. Deciding on staying in his closet, as he grabbed his favorite playmate. His nails dug deeper into his right arm. Looking over the mess he's made of himself ever since he could remember. Another tool that glistened as he took it from the floor.

It being a small swiss knife. 

This time that tool was to use on his left arm. Though he washed both arms back at school. He continued digging deeper painful holes to both arms. As much as it hurt him, he didn't care. So used to the pain. 

Blinking his eyes few times as he hears a loud thump. With a startle shock he wasn't sure if he should check on his drunken father. 

* * *

Opening his eyes realizing he had falling asleep. His stomach churned as sudden hunger stirred him fully awake.

He slowly gets out of the closet. Remembering his father could be by the door. Grabbing for the knob he hears a loud slamming of the door.

"Did he just leave..?"

Not sure of it himself, he quickly opens his bedroom door. Runs to the living room as no one wasn't there. Just a huge pile of broken glass. Mostly from beer and a small picture of him and his father when he was just a little boy. Picking up the picture staring hard at it. 

"I have to get the hell out of here.."

Tomoya grabbed for few things. Shoving them inside his school bag too. A bag or two would be needed for now. Already packed and change of clothes he gets out of the messy small home. A home that was hell for him, ever since he could remember.

He would walk in slow steps to his best friends' apartment. Maybe he'll let him stay there. "Oh I don't think so." He just laughs it off.

Tomoya bangs on Youhei's front door. The door swings open as a few strands of blond hair was seen. Entering the apartment walking past his friend.

"What the hell, Okazaki?" He asks.

Not saying anything he settles on the floor. Looking back at the blond whom closes the door.

"I got us food. Is the microwave being used in the kitchen?"

Shrugging his shoulders as he joined him on the floor. Tomoya had bought along microwavable food for himself, and Youhei. How lucky of the blond soon as he saw the soup he grabbed for it.

The boys began arguing on whom would eat it. Deciding on something stupid, Youhei loses. For fun and punishment, Tomoya riles up the football players. The loud boys kicked the wall as much as Tomoya has done so.

A bit scared the blond stops his friend. He pats his back before leaving for the kitchen.

Once on his own his phone beeps. The person who texted was none other than his own father. 

_'Where are you? Come back home'_

Letting his tears fall freely he looked over the text few more times. The soup already being prepared as the beeping of the microwave alerted him. Looking around he didn't take notice a pair of amber eyes was looking his way.

"Okazaki-san, are you okay?"

The sudden voice was familiar to him. Not bothering to look up. He puts his phone back onto his pants pocket too.

"You look so sad. Please confirm in me, if you ever like to talk."

The voice tells him. It belonging to none other than Nagisa Furukawa. 

To be continued.

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